[Jarod] The moon hid herself tonight. She was only a tiny sliver - barely perceptible - in the dark, blizzard-obscured sky. People warned of this storm. The media created clever names for it - relating it to the apocalypse. Outside, the winds blustered, blowing drifts of snow around the city. And the snow... it had been falling all day, but now it was beginning to really hit its stride. Businesses closed down. Most people were smart enough to hole up for the evening in the warmth and safety of their homes. School had been canceled the following day, for both children and university students. That meant that everyone currently residing in Jarod's penthouse would have the day off, and for the moment they were blissfully unaware of the fact that elsewhere in the city, plans were being set in motion that would irrevocably impact the lives of others.
For the moment, things here were peaceful. Ilana, delighted and fascinated by the blizzard, had asked that the glass walls remain uncovered, and every now and then she'd walk quietly over to one of the panels and stare out into the storm. On the sofa, Jarod and Nick were lounging against each other as they watched a movie on the large flat-panel t.v. that had been hung above the hearth. Beneath it, a fire glowed and crackled. Ashley had called. She was coming over, which meant that sooner or later he'd have to turn the movie off and find a way to get Nick and Ilana to distract each other, but that was usually fairly easy. For now, he was enjoying the moment of relaxation.
[Ashley] [Life would be so much easier if I just had a car...resonance already masked.]
Dice Rolled:[ 4 d10 ] 1, 4, 7, 7 (Success x 3 at target 3) [WP]
[Ashley] There are a lot of ways in which Ashley's missing ear and eye complicate her life. Transportation has been, by far, the largest, trumping even her ability to do sports or to handle herself in a fight. She has no access to a car and no hope of getting a license, and thus usually gets around the city by walking or, occasionally, submitting to the idea of riding the El.
Today it is much too cold and snowy to think about doing either of those things. Ashley appreciates bad weather and relishes it at times, refuses to let it get the better of her, but if she were to try to go out in the blizzard right now she'd probably spend most of the night even getting to Jarod's in the first place.
Thus, the Ars Conjunctionis. She doesn't appear in his apartment; Ashley thinks Jarod would be distinctly displeased with her for doing so. Nor does she go to the building itself. It's some distance away that she shreds space and appears, in the thick of the whiteout. She probably didn't even have to go to the lengths she did to hide herself; no one could see her right now anyway.
Even though she's appeared a short distance away, she's already snowed on and mildly disheveled by the time she appears at Jarod's door a while later. She raises a small fist and knocks three times and then, red-knuckled, her hands disappear into her coat pockets once more.
[Jarod] The desk clerks in the main lobby know by now that Ashley is a friend of Mr. Nightingale's, so they would have let her up without any trouble. They didn't say anything about the snow covering her feet, legs and shoulders. Tonight, everyone who came in the door was covered in snow. It was expected. They cleaned it up without mention.
She'd leave wet footprints behind her on the hardwood floor in the hallway, but it was likely these too would get cleaned up before too long. When her knock came at the door, Jarod shut off the movie and disengaged from his position on the sofa. Nick complained half-heartedly about both of these things (the movie and having to be dislodged) but he'd been warned in advance, so he reached over to grab a book off the coffee table and made himself comfortable in the crook of the arm-rest, folding his legs beneath him. Ilana, meanwhile, turned away from the glass to trot over and plop down next to Nick, sitting on her knees and facing the door with her head leaning adorably on the back of the sofa so she could watch Ashley and Jarod interact with a curious expression in her silver-grey eyes.
Jarod opened the door, smiled and stepped aside to let Ashley in. He was barefoot, and dressed in jeans and a white henley. "I'm surprised you made it here without getting buried in a snow drift."
[Ashley] "It's coming down so heavy I thought maybe I'd Stepped into one," Ashley says, giving a quick shake of her head before she passes the threshold to try to shake the flakes free of her hair. It's melting now, leaving wet trails down the sides of her face and along the line of her jaw.
There's something a little diminished about her tonight. She isn't in pain the way she had been when Jarod came by to see her last week, but she's certainly been throwing herself into her work lately. Extending her Will out into the rest of the world tends to leave her quite weary; Ashley finds it impossible to do most things without doing them to the best of her ability, with all the energy she can muster. This is more true of magic than even most other things.
Still, she smiles up at Jarod and then turns another smile over toward Ilana when she notices the girl watching them. It's a brief thing, though, little more than a quick lightening of her expression before she leans down to remove her boots and her coat now that she's inside the door. Beneath her coat she's wearing a white buttondown beneath a striped blue and orange sweater; Ashley refuses to dress in "winter colors," most days. She likes bright clothing.
"Hey, Nick," she says, with a glance toward her fellow sociology student. Who, unbeknownst to them both, will not be a fellow student for very much longer.
[Jarod] Jarod held out a hand for Ashley's coat, slipping it onto a hanger in the closet while she pulled her boots off and left them on the mat next to the door. Ashley mentioned Stepping into a snow drift, and he afforded her a small, knowing grin that the others wouldn't see.
"Hey Vanessa."
"Hey Ashley."
The sound came almost in unison from both the girl and the grad student, sounding a gentle harmony of greeting from the couch. Nick noticed the mistake and arched one of his eyebrows curiously. Jarod glanced back over his shoulder at Ilana and fixed her with a long, silent expression, and the girl widened her eyes slightly and appeared visibly guilty. She reached up to run her hands through the loose, silky waves of her hair, pretending to distract herself perhaps. "Oops. Sorry. Vanessa. I forgot. Jarod has too many girlfriends." (Not a bad lie really, for an eleven year old.)
Nick laughed quietly. Jarod sighed and put a hand up to pinch the bridge of his nose. "I don't have any girlfriends. Or boyfriends, for that matter."
Ilana waved her hand dismissively as she got up off the couch and walked over to the glass again. At which point Nick (oh so helpfully) chimed in with, "That's right 'Lana. Your Dad doesn't do relationships." There was a slight note of passive aggression in that - not enough to be obvious. Ilana pretended not to notice. So did her father.
"Nick, why don't you take her to the park awhile?" At this, Ilana bounced away from the window and looked over at Nick with a big, adorably wicked smile on her face (rather like the one she'd given Ashley just before trying to bury her in the snow) and if the man had been planning on protesting this particular assignment, any hope of it died when he looked over at the over-excited little girl standing in front of him. He sighed and climbed off the couch, setting his book back on the coffee table. "Alright alright. But if she comes back without me, you're going to have to get a shovel."
As the two of them got ready to go out, Jarod held a hand up to indicate that he wanted Ashley to stay put in the foyer. Probably so that he could contain the water dripping to this one area.
[Ashley] It's an exchange that rapidly becomes uncomfortable for her on several levels. The breach of her Awakened and Sleeper Names, well, it sets her gut to twisting even though Ilana couldn't have known better; she's young. But it's one of the very good reasons why Ashley keeps her two lives quite separate, and why she doesn't spend that much time in the Sleeping world either.
For the rest of it she tries to keep her expression neutral, and to some extent she fails. There's a quick glance toward Ilana when she covers up. It's good, for an eleven-year-old, but it does make her wonder just how many people he has over, and this is usually something she actively tries not to think about. Ashley has never been under the illusion that she's special - in fact, she's pretty sure she's not, can't be, the only person he talks about caring about - and that works. As long as she isn't confronted with other evidence.
Nick's passive-aggression might have been missed if it were in his tone by itself. She's aware of at least some of his history with Jarod though, and she knows Nick is staying here for the time being. It's in his words themselves.
Ashley raises a hand to the back of her neck, quiet, and steps out of the way to let Ilana and Nick out of the house, remaining in the foyer when he asks her to. "See you guys later."
[Jarod] There was a brief delay when Ilana tried to venture out without a hat and gloves and Jarod clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth and looked at her with an expression that was so patently parental that it might have made Ashley laugh had she not been feeling as awkward and uncomfortable as she was. The two of them looked at each other, and Ilana made a disgruntled expression but relented and grabbed the rest of her winter gear. Then Nick opened the door and the two of them stepped out into the hallway. Nick turned and glanced at Ashley, then gave Jarod a mock salute as he shut the door. Footsteps echoed down the hall.
Jarod stared at the door for a few long seconds, as if composing himself, then he took a deep breath and turned around. "I'm... really sorry about that. All of it." But he didn't attempt to explain or justify any of it. There was just that - an apology. He knew how awkward a moment it had been for her.
"Here..." he locked the door behind him, "let me grab you something to put on? And I can toss your wet clothes in the dryer." He disappeared around the corner, and when he came back he was holding a laundry basket in one hand and a towel and a white terrycloth robe in the other. It was soft and fluffy - like the kind one might find in a spa or a nice hotel. He held them out to her with an apologetic smile. "I can get you something hot to drink, if you're cold."
[Ashley] Jarod apologizes, and there's a quick glance toward him, sidelong. It helps to have the apology, but it doesn't really take away from how uncomfortable the exchange left her, and it doesn't do much to ease away the weight that's settled into her stomach.
"I, um, should probably go, actually," she says. "It'll be kind of weird to have both me and Nick here."
It's something she should probably talk about and approach directly. Avoidance is a new thing for her, and it's not a quality she likes or finds desirable. Still - she doesn't know what to do. She hasn't just thrown up her hands and walked away yet, but she's not entirely convinced talking about it would help either; it has her in an uncomfortable position, a vulnerable one, and she doesn't know what to do with it.
There's a pause, and she reaches down for one of her boots. "Don't ask me over when you have someone else here again."
[Jarod] [This feels like a good moment for an Empathy roll, so I don't fuck this up by saying something stupid.]
Dice Rolled:[ 5 d10 ] 3, 3, 6, 6, 9 (Success x 3 at target 5)
[Ashley] The arrangement that they have is not something she's had with the people she's been with before. It's new ground, and that is, at least in part, why it's awkward for her. Given the choice she'd prefer something monogamous; this works now only because she can't think about the future. She's not convinced there's a future to think about, either for her or for him.
So it is awkward. She thinks there's something going on with Nick that is very similar to what's going on with her, and feels relatively certain that there are probably other people too. She hadn't expected to be confronted with it, though she probably should have.
She's upset, but it will pass. At the moment, she seems to be wanting to get out only so she can get control of herself, after being taken by surprise.
to Jarod
[Jarod] All things considered, he really shouldn't have been surprised by this... but he was. The cajoling affection in his voice and expression faded, and after a moment he set down the things he'd grabbed for her. "Ashley, hey... please don't. It's ridiculous outside and you already risked a backlash coming here in the first place."
He didn't try to reach out and grab her or otherwise get in her way, so if she was determined to go, she could, but he seemed to genuinely want her to stay, and more than that... her sudden anger had caught him off-guard. He took a breath and ran a hand through his hair. "I'm sorry. I guess I just assumed that the two of you were friends, and I told you he was staying here so I didn't think it would be an issue. He got a new place, but you know..." he gestured toward the windows. "Can't exactly move in this kind of weather."
If he hadn't had a sense of the deeper issues behind Ashley's discomfort, he probably would have stopped there. But as much as he probably would have preferred to remain naive on this subject... he wasn't. So he added, in a softer voice, "Nick and I haven't slept together in over a year, and Ilana... when she said that, she was thinking of Emily. It's not like I bring random women back here to meet my kid on a regular basis."
He crossed his arms over his chest. "Not that I actually owe you an explanation in that regard. But I am sorry they made you upset."
[Ashley] If he asked her, she wouldn't really be able to tell him why she'd gotten angry, all of a sudden. Perhaps it's just understood: what she's just heard isn't easy to hear, and the situation she's in isn't an easy one to be in, and a lot of people would be angry with it. That probably isn't the reason in its entirety, but Ashley isn't the sort to sit back and analyze her own feelings very often.
He doesn't owe her an explanation - and the fact that he says that at all suddenly pulls her eyebrows together, forms deep furrows in the skin between them, pulls her upper lip back from her teeth a little - but he gives her one anyway. It takes a second for that to sink in, but once it does, the muscles in her face and shoulders relax a little. It's not total ease, not giving in, but it's something. She's no longer of a mind to simply turn around and leave (and the statement that she would do so had been in earnest, then.)
"Forget it," she says, and the words are a sigh. "It was just awkward."
Then, with a glance toward the basket and another down toward her jeans, which are soaked about the bottoms and along the tops of her thighs, she reaches over her head to tug her shirts off and throw them into the basket. The rest of her clothing is soon to follow. It's efficient.
[Jarod] He could have told her to get used to it, and in fact... maybe he should have. But he didn't. Ashley wasn't the sort of person who was easy to reason with when she was upset, and he knew her well enough by now to understand that, so for the moment, he let the matter rest. It was probable that it would come back up at some point, though. They needed to talk, and for all his faults, Jarod tried to be honest with the people he was sleeping with. He never made empty promises. Never pretended to care more than he actually did. And he never cheated on anyone... because he never claimed to be monogamous to begin with.
That didn't mean that Ashley wasn't important to him. He wouldn't have even so much as attempted to stop her just now, if she hadn't been. She let the matter go, and he nodded when she said that it had been awkward, because it had been - for both of them. "Nick's kind of a moody bitch sometimes. Don't worry about it. He's just had a really rough couple of weeks."
Ashley removed her wet clothes, and Jarod looked out at the living room while she did so. They'd seen each other without clothes numerous times now. It wasn't that he thought Ashley would be embarrassed, but there is a subtle power dynamic that happens when one person is clothed and the other not, and Jarod was very aware of things like that. He didn't want to make her any more uncomfortable than she already was.
When she'd finished and slipped into the robe, he grabbed the basket and walked around the corner into the utility room. If she wanted, she could follow, or go and make herself comfortable in the living room. Either way, he was back out in a couple of minutes. And then he walked into the kitchen and put the water on to heat.
"So am I allowed to try and bribe you into feeling better? I have tea and a fire and we should be alone for at least half an hour."
[Ashley] "I'm not worrying about it," she says. And maybe that's true; then again maybe it's true because Ashley says things in order to make them true, in order to manifest them and spin them into something real. This is how mind magic often works: the use of mantras. A person states them over and over and over again until they permeate all they do. After using them to work Will, they become force of habit for everything a person does.
It explains a lot about her, really.
Ashley pulls the robe around her shoulders and then begins to, with dignity, roll up the cuffs, and she attempts to tie it about the waist so that it isn't quite so large on her. It's the kind of thing she might laugh at if she were in a better mood.
She happens to be feeling a little nihilistic about her friendships at the moment. She doesn't mention this; there wouldn't be much she could say on the subject. Or would. She moves into the living room and makes herself comfortable on the couch while he goes into the utility room. Ordinarily she might follow him to talk, or to just be present for a little while, but tonight she does not. It's hard to say whether that's residual anger or hidden vulnerability. It's hard to tell sometimes with her (perhaps because it's often one and the same.)
"You can," she says, reaching up to rake her fingers through her hair and comb it back down, to tug whatever the wind tangled free. A beat and she adds, "Nick and I are more like acquaintances. He only really started talking to me after he found out I knew you."
[Jarod] "He likes you though," Jarod added thoughtfully. "He said so once. That day he tricked me into talking to you." There was a wry smirk at that thought. Angry as he'd been at the time, he occasionally had to respect Nick's stubborn fearlessness (and his capacity for social manipulation.)
The robe that he'd given Ashley was a little big on her, but not so much as she might have expected. It was a woman's size. (Though whether she'd be grateful for that or just find it to be further cause for discomfort, well... that was up to her.) While the water heated, Jarod walked back to the sofa and sat down next to her. His eyes remained on hers, whether she looked at him or not. He bit his lower lip and rolled it gently between his teeth.
"So, what can I do to make Ashley smile?" He leaned back to lay against her lap for a moment, holding his wrists up as if to offer himself up as prisoner. The action was playful, as was his voice. "Consider me your slave for the next thirty minutes."
[Ashley] "He hardly knows me," Ashley says, and her tone too is a little wry. She'd been angry at Nick for that too, though perhaps it has occurred to her to respect the audacity of what he did. She still talks to him, though, and on seemingly friendly terms at that. He might hardly know her but she seems to like him well enough.
There's something that shadows her eyes when he rests his head in her lap and adopts that playful tone. Distracted. Angry - though whatever anger she'd momentarily had for him, that doesn't seem to be at the root of it. And since it's Ashley that could mean any number of things; it could have any number of causes and none she is likely to speak on. Maybe she wants something else from him, but if she does, she's not likely to speak on that either in her current frame of mind.
He might not think he's going to get an answer from her, until he does. There's a light brush of her fingertips over his hair while she looks down at him, pensive almost, and says, "I don't think a half-hour is enough time." There's a kiss that follows, one that doesn't last too long; she saves her aggression with him these days, and she's gentle and affectionate more often than not. Today is one of the 'not' days: there's just need, mindless hunger, suppressed and reined back in. Even right now feeling the way she is, she's still trying to be careful with him. He's earned that much.
[Jarod] Ashley's bad mood persisted, but he hadn't really expected it to just evaporate, so he didn't seem put out by her lack of response. Instead he let his hands drop, and when she kissed him, he kissed her back. She had to rein herself in, but his own mood was more relaxed and affectionate, and the kiss reflected that.
Still... this was Jarod. Even gentle kisses from him could scarcely be called innocent.
He looked at her for a moment, then sat up. The water had started to boil, and as he moved toward the kitchen, he grabbed his phone off the table and dialed Nick's number. "Hey, Nick... I have a favor to ask you..." Jarod set about making tea as he talked on the phone, going through the ritual motions without having to pay much attention to what he was doing.
"Why don't you take Ilana to get some hot chocolate after you guys are done?" Beat. "How about... because I let you live in my condo for a couple of weeks without paying rent?" Another beat, and a sigh. "Come on Nick, please?"
There was a long pause, then a smile. "Can you make it two?" Beat. "Thank you. Really." There was probably a snarky comment on the other end of the line, because Jarod smirked in response. The he said goodbye and hung up the phone. When he returned, he set two coasters on the coffee table and placed a cup of rooibos in front of Ashley and a cup of black tea next to it for himself. Then he sat down again. "Okay, how about two hours?"
[Ashley] It wouldn't be correct to name Ashley's approach as desperation. It's too assertive for that, almost demanding; when he's around her, no matter what they happen to be doing, she throws herself into it like it's the last time. Like that thought is lurking, ever present, beneath her conscious thoughts; something she just can't quite get rid of. The things one takes joy from in life are fragile and easily taken away, and that can happen at any moment; she knows that.
Today is one of those days when it comes to the forefront. Whatever happened, she doesn't seem inclined to talk about it, and maybe she won't ever. Maybe she just can't find words to express the fact that she feels abandoned and hurt and inexplicably unworthy (and angry that she's letting someone else make her feel that way.) Then again, he's heard her express herself; in all likelihood it's just that she doesn't want to.
She smiles in spite of herself when he sets the tea down and sits back down next to her once more. Reflexive. "Thanks," she says, though she doesn't move to pick up the cup. She edges closer to him, in against his side.
When she moves in to kiss him again she lifts a hand to rest along his jawbone, and that gesture is the only thing that softens it. She kisses him like someone who doesn't want to think again for a long, long time.
[Jarod] [Empathy - not that I really need to guess, but, what reaction would you prefer to get from me at the moment?]
Dice Rolled:[ 5 d10 ] 1, 2, 3, 5, 5 (Success x 1 at target 5)
[Jarod] [*irritated glower*]
Dice Rolled:[ 5 d10 ] 1, 5, 5, 6, 8 (Success x 1 at target 6)
[Jarod] [....one more time? With WP?]
Dice Rolled:[ 5 d10 ] 1, 2, 7, 8, 9 (Success x 3 at target 7) [WP]
[Jarod] [That's better. *sniff*]
[Ashley] Sometimes it's a little hard to tell when Ashley is feeling vulnerable, until one knows what to look for. Jarod does; he's seen her behavior in a variety of circumstances now. She doesn't know how to ask for things, particularly affection; taking something - anything - is preferable. It seems stronger, and it feels stronger, and it's a way to control what she gets from someone else when she's feeling particularly powerless.
Right now she doesn't feel particularly wanted. She feels betrayed and guilty and mostly just angry, but she's trying not to take that anger out on him - making an active effort not to lash out.
She doesn't really know what she wants. Today there's just a hole to fill.
to Jarod
[Jarod] Ashley thanked him for the tea, but she didn't take it. At least, not yet. Instead she kissed him, and there was a note of vulnerability in it that most people probably wouldn't have noticed, because Ashley's version of vulnerability was often to behave as if she was feeling quite the opposite - to prove to herself and to others that she was the strongest and most Willful person in the room. She lashed out. She took. She fought to gain control when she felt as if that control was slipping.
Jarod... understood that. And though some might have reacted to the sudden forcefulness in that kiss by pulling away, he did not. (One would imagine that it was probably difficult to surprise him this way.) Instead, he let her control things for a moment, responding to the kiss without hesitation. And when he pulled away, just for a moment, he looked at her eyes - met them with an intense gaze that was bold and blatant in its desire. (When he really wanted something, there was never a moment of doubt as to what he was thinking.)
Then he grabbed her face suddenly with both of his hands and kissed her - hard. And when one of the hands dropped, he pulled her robe open and wrapped his arm around her back, dragging her onto his lap - pulling her against him.
"I want to fuck you," he growled, biting her neck. "I want you to fuck me."
He looked at her again, catching his breath, and smiled. Then he kissed her again, a little more softly (though not much) and whispered "I want you." And again, and again, and again. I want you. I want you. I want you.
And after that, well... they'd just have to enjoy their tea cold. In about 2 hours.
